Your Children Are Not Your Children, They Are Sons And Daughters Of Life
Many parents have the idea that our children belong to us, that they are our property and we overprotect them to such an extent that we impede their development to be themselves. Avoiding overprotection can help our children to develop in life, in such a way that they know how to solve their own difficulties, and have to make decisions to make mistakes and learn from them.
We parents usually have an instinct to want to prevent our children from going down a path that we believe is not convenient for them. We strive to pave the way for them, trying to get them to make as few mistakes as possible.
Message from Khalil Gibran
The Lebanese poet Khalil Gibran, in his book “The Prophet”, exposes the following passage, in relation to a woman who asks the prophet to tell her about her children:
“Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself.
They come through you, but they are not yours.
And even if they live with you, they don’t belong to you.
You can give them your love, but not your thoughts,
because they have their own thoughts.
You can shelter their bodies, but not their souls,
for their souls live in the mansion of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in dreams.
You can strive to be like them, but don’t even try to
make them like you.
Since life does not go back, nor does it stop at yesterday.
You are the bows with which your children, which
living arrows are thrown.
The archer sees the target on the path of infinity, and he,
with his power, will tend to you, so that his arrows can
fly fast and far.
May the tension caused by the bowing hand be your joy,
since just as he loves the arrow that flies, he also loves
the bow that remains immobile ”.
We are children of life
Sometimes, parents pretend that our children have everything that we have not had, and that they do not make the same mistakes that we have made. This is done as a protection, thinking that it is the best for those defenseless beings that are our children. However, we are not taking into account that they have the right to take charge of their lives.
They have the right to make decisions that make them go through complicated situations, where they are able to see the consequences of each action. Parental support is important, as long as you are not overly protective or limit the actions of your children.
We are not owned by anyone and no one can live our experiences for us. We are children of life itself, and we give ourselves to it with its benefits and difficulties in order to configure our own identity.
Let us facilitate the freedom of our children as parents
Without being aware, we transmit to our children many of our behaviors, our fears and thoughts. The way of loving, of relating to the world and of communicating … Aspects that are too important to be taken into account.
We are a mere instrument for our children to grow and develop as individual, free, healthy and happy beings. Supporting them throughout the process, without pretending that they fulfill our dreams and our expectations.
In this way, we can truly love them unconditionally so that they explore their essence and choose what their path is. Without pressure or demands that restrict their freedom and manifestation of their needs. We thus have the opportunity to observe the flow of life, where each being, by feeling loved, is able to offer the best of himself. Respecting their own life process, without fear of experimenting and surrendering to love.
