When Brain Damage Doesn’t Take The One You Love With It, But Changes It Forever

When brain damage does not end the life of your family member, but changes their way of being forever, we are faced with one of the most difficult paradoxes of life to assume. The fact that that person has not physically left. and yet he is no longer the same. Has changed. Not only because of the physical disability that often accompanies brain damage, but also because of the personality change that it entails.

How can one explain that someone is still in our life but has become a “stranger” to us? On many occasions, a person remains who is not who he was. Has changed. His way of being has other colors and another intensity. Who was the sociable being par excellence now no longer has that initiative and apathy can. There is a part of us that recognizes him and another that does not.

For example, who was polite and respectful, now, as a result of brain damage, it is not so much anymore. Your brain has “turned off” the switch for social norms. It no longer has that filter that society urges us to have in certain situations. There is no self-control and those who do not know that they have suffered damage will think that they are someone “rude” and without shame.

The person is not always aware of the brain damage they have suffered

Often times, people who have suffered precisely brain damage are not as aware of these repercussions as their own family members. Brain damage sometimes brings this paradox with it. It can even give the feeling of being a defense mechanism so that the consequences of what they have suffered are not so disturbing.

The fact is that this mechanism exists. It is the pathological situation referred to people who have suffered brain damage and who have neurological (cognitive) problems, but are not aware of the difficulties that these pose for them. This clinical phenomenon is called “anosognosia” and refers to those patients who have no perception of their neurological functional deficits.

In other words, there is a certain inability to be aware of the consequences of the injury they have suffered. Both on a cognitive, physical or behavioral level. Many times they are not aware of their attentional difficulties, or of their explosive reactions. There are cases in which they cannot walk again and they think it is because “someone won’t let them”. Never because of the damage they have received and that has left them in that situation.

Families live the mourning of the one who stays … but it is no longer the same

All this generates a lot of helplessness and frustration for the families of these people. It is not that he is no longer the same, but it is that he is not even aware of it. This change is a mourning in life for the people around them. Assuming that your loved one is still alive, but that they are no longer the same as they were, (their way of being and being in the world has changed) is one of the hardest tasks that the family member of the patient with damage faces cerebral.

There is a change in the family system. The puzzle explodes, the pieces fly off. Now it’s time to reposition everything, with a new order that makes sense of this sudden chaos. Feelings will appear that will disturb us such as envy, hopelessness, uncertainty … Guilt. Endless mixed feelings that will appear to help us assume this loss we have suffered and that we are trying to understand.

For this reason, it is always important to emphasize that brain damage is an evil that drags everyone who is behind the person who has suffered it. It is a duel from life and for life. It is important to share all these mixed feelings so that we can be well and better help our loved one. Repositioning the pieces, placing them in a new way that gives a new meaning… It is an exercise of courage and admirable wisdom that these families teach us.

From here we send all our support to those families who have been affected by brain damage.