What Qualities Should The Perfect Partner Have?

Physical attraction and love at first sight are two important factors when it comes to finding a partner. It’s hard to deny it. But it is, at the end of the day, a beginning where a momentary, intense but fleeting passion can prevail, where stability is rarely found. Finding the perfect partner and being reciprocated is an aspiration that many people crave.

However, to achieve this, we must first be clear about some fundamental aspects about ourselves. What do you value most in a person? What are your needs? What are your limits?

The perfect partner may not exist as such, but that person capable of awakening happiness and security does. A partner with appropriate qualities and values ​​for you. That person whose differences are nothing more than small unevenness where you can fit your own pieces to form the perfect puzzle.

The need to know yourself

When it comes to finding the right partner, it is always necessary that we do an exercise in self-knowledge. Valuing our life experience and old shared relationships will make us understand what it is that we most appreciate in a couple.

We must think about what we value, or what we could never accept. Would you accept a jealous person? Are you one of those who value independence and having your own space? Are you an indecisive person and looking for someone to give you security? Or are you perhaps a controlling person who would be a better fit with someone more understanding? All these are aspects that we must be very clear about.

Sometimes we can see ourselves starting relationships where little by little situations appear where we feel contradicted, or perhaps hurt. It is true that many times the attraction appears without our being able to control it, but it is essential to know what our limits are and how far we are capable of allowing, yielding or accepting.

When we know ourselves we will be able to establish much healthier relationships. We will not look for in the other person what we lack. Many people believe that in a perfect relationship we must find in the other what we lack to fill an inner emptiness, however, this can lead to attachment and dependence. The healthiest thing is that both people have good self-esteem and are together by their own choice and not by dependence or need.

What qualities does the perfect partner have?

It can be said that there are three basic pillars that help to consolidate the couple’s relationship. Let’s see them.

Communication

Good communication is essential to maintain a stable and effective relationship. It is essential to be able to express our thoughts freely, our needs and feelings, to establish an active listening with the other to be understood. It is an effective way to overcome any conflict that arises in the couple.

Commitment

Finding a person who assures us of their commitment to us and to the relationship is essential to feel safe and to trust what we are experiencing. Fidelity, trust, seeing that there is an emotional commitment to us and that we are the center of the other person’s interest and their future projects is essential to feel good and be happy.

Affinity

Sharing similar hobbies and tastes is a very effective value. It contributes to making our relationship something alive, something where we can find complicity, pleasure and union. Nor is it about sharing 100% of the same things, and here the enriching dimension of learning from each other comes into play.

Let our partner teach us and teach us our concerns, our tastes and pleasures … They are the pillars that will establish an efficient and true relationship with which to find that desired stability.

To conclude, highlight some phrases by Manuel Villegas (2006) in his article Love and dependence in couple relationships : “ Excessive expectation, however, transferred to the couple relationship can be so suffocating that it ends up totally destroying it or unbalancing it. the roles on which it is based, favoring the attitude of dependence in one or both members of the same, in order to preserve the link, once established “.

It is true that the perfect or ideal couple does not exist, we are all people with greatness but also with defects. But as long as there are basic qualities such as good communication, empathy, commitment and affinity, day by day we can build that perfect relationship with the person we dream of.