What Leaves A Mark Is Not The Promise, But What You Keep

We spend our lives making promises as if we are certain that by doing so we know that the people we love in our lives are never going to leave. We believe in an illusory way that making a promise in the manner of a contract will extend the time we share with someone.

However, we do not realize many times that what leaves a mark is not the act of making a promise and the expectation of fulfilling it, but that it stops being a promise and becomes a reality. After all, reality is what really matters: what comes to us, what we can feel and feel.

Stay with whoever gives you heaven before promising you

How many times have we promised heaven? Or, better yet, how many times have we been promised? Making promises is easy, so when they are not kept they can do a lot of damage. In addition, along the same lines, this is also the reason why when a promise is not kept we feel disappointed : we expected something, we had confidence in what we had been told and it cannot be.

The moment a promise remains in the world of the impossible, we feel betrayed or, perhaps more accurately, disappointed. Disappointment is a horrible feeling that we can feel in various situations in our life and that puts a reality in front of us that we do not want to see.

Sometimes even this reality can be confusing and blurred because we feel hurt. To avoid this type of negative feelings in our life, it is very necessary that we be aware that  a sweetheart does not live on beautiful words and promises from a distance , as Cortázar would say; but of a present full of details in the moment.

Why We Place So Much Importance on Promises

The truth is that any strong relationship we have in our life, if we think about it, is based on the trust we can have with the other person. It does not matter what type of relationship we are talking about: whether it is your partner or a friend, trust is always the starting point, the partition and the end point of any relationship between two people.

This is precisely why we have to bear in mind that promises begin to create trust in the other person, keep it or completely end it. This is the reason why we unconsciously give too much importance and consistency to promises.

Beware of promises, what can we do?

In order to maintain our relationships in the healthiest way possible, what we can do is take into account a series of facts that may not cost us much work in relation to the promises:

• First of all, it is important that we know that not all promises are within our reach: we have to be aware that, even if we do not want to believe it, there are impossible promises. Limit what you promise to what you are sure you can achieve and only believe those promises that you know are possible.

• Secondly, it is beneficial that we think about the other person, to whom we are making the promise: how do you think they would feel if you could not keep it? How would you feel in their place?
• Finally, try to always keep in mind that making a promise has millions of conditions behind it and that it is not a joke. Making a promise to someone is as serious an act as your relationship can be.