Should I Or Shouldn’t I? That’s The Question

Doubts constantly overwhelm us. We are full of should and should not that put us at a crossroads from which we do not know how to get out. A problem that affects many people. A feeling of guilt and doubt that can hardly be escaped.

Doubts, should or should not, take shape when we have very little confidence in ourselves. So much so, that we need the approval of others to be able to choose, to move forward.

Lack of confidence in ourselves

There are many people who suffer from a lack of confidence in themselves that prevents them from being sure of their decisions, carrying out everything they have in mind but who, out of fear, end up self-sabotaging. This is no one’s fault, it is their own responsibility.

The pressures to which we are subjected, the criticisms, the ridicules, originate this lack of confidence that makes us doubt whether or not I should or should I do this or that? Only you have the answer, but you look for it in others because you believe that if you let them choose, you can avoid responsibility if you make a mistake. You will be able to share that load, in that moment, imaginary.

Beliefs of an insecure person

An insecure person, with a mind contaminated by ” should “, always thinks, has internalized the following beliefs:

• I should do what other people tell me.
• I should always help everyone around me.
• You should listen to the problems of others, whoever they are.
• I should be concerned with making others happy before me.
• I should always be happy and never get angry.

These should be popping into your mind are false beliefs that make you unhappy, but that you believe should be carried out because it is the right thing to do. Always putting others first, thinking of the happiness of others before your own, does not make you happy, it makes you a martyr.

When we try to get away from these “ shoulds ”, from these false beliefs that are in our minds, an even worse feeling than lack of confidence appears: guilt. A guilt that doesn’t really exist, that you yourself create and that others make you imagine.

Circumstances, people, can make you feel guilty for something that is really not true! It is normal that, if you choose to reject all “ shoulds ”, the people around you are upset that they have not managed to get rid of this burden yet. They will call you selfish, not very humble and they will dedicate other kinds of unpleasant words to you. Think: in them only envy resides and they pronounce them with the intention of stopping your change.

It is not true that it is selfish to ensure your own happiness before that of others, it is not selfish to think of yourself and stop being always at the mercy of other people. It is very comfortable for others to always have you there, ready to help, but … are they there for you?

Do not feel guilty for thinking of yourself, because even if now you are always willing to help others, opening yourself up to them, always putting yourself ahead even if they hurt you, the moment will come when you will know how to give yourself the value you deserve.

Give yourself permission

Start giving yourself permission to think about yourself, to eliminate feelings of guilt that are not real. Reflect on the origin of guilt, see if you really should feel guilty or not. There are many people who find it very easy to make you feel guilty to manipulate you, do not allow it!

You must value yourself and give yourself permission to put yourself before others in your path. How can you be happy if you put the happiness of others before you? Have you never heard, too, that you can’t love someone if you don’t love yourself?

Start from today to be selfish, although this is not really true, but that is how others will see it. Be selfish to put yourself ahead, to release that trust that resides in you, to be happy, to stop thinking so much about people who bring you nothing but worries and guilt.

Put guilt aside, stop thinking that you are selfish, value yourself, look inside yourself and free yourself. You have the right to think about yourself, you have the right to be the protagonist of your life. Trust yourself, get ahead. You will be happy and you will no longer wonder whether or not I should. You will be yourself.