Living With Resentment

Avoid living with resentment, as experiencing this negative feeling only leads to pain, self-destruction and conflict.

Unfortunately, such an emotional reaction is very common in today’s society. This is due to the false belief that when damage is received or a wound from the past is reopened, it is normal and natural to respond with resentment.

What is resentment?

According to the German philosopher, Max Scheler, resentment can be defined as:

It can be said that the origin of this negative emotional reaction takes place in the damage that one feels for something that has been done or said to him, which, being inexorably linked to the memory, increases and intensifies the pain. 

It is normal that, when one feels hurt by another, the mind feeds on memory to try to explain the causes of the event that occurred. So, the situation is analyzed, the consequences it has had and many other factors that may have influenced what happened. In fact, this can become an obsession.

Therefore, resentment is a natural reaction, although it must be given an expiration date.

Thus, as stated by Professor Osvaldo Cuadro Moreno, resentment is an internal pain that leads to emotional dependence on the person who caused the damage. This prevents one from moving forward as an individual and growing in life. 

The passage of time increases this horrible feeling, which causes the mind to fatigue in a progressive way.

Living with resentment

Living with resentment affects the body and mind very negatively, that is, personal well-being.

Both physically and mentally, a person takes minimal time to heal a wound.

Thus, while the body uses different elements to endogenously heal and heal all types of fractures; the mind, under these circumstances, uses oblivion, that is, the antithesis of memory.

Forgetfulness is an involuntary motor activity that the psyche uses as an analgesic, although, for this, it needs help.

To better understand everything discussed so far, we are going to describe a classic example of resentment: the breakup with a partner more than a year ago.

In this case, someone resentful would continue to mull over the issue from victimhood, increasing the original damage that caused that feeling to be generated. In order for this person to be able to overcome the situation, they must review what happened from as objective a perspective as possible and, from a distance, extract the guilt that they may have had. You should also consider the possibility that your ex-partner’s personality was not the right one to live together and, therefore, an even worse bad time may have been avoided.

When hatred, doubt, insecurity, and all kinds of sensations of this nature, take possession of one, the result can only be bad for the individual and for his close environment. Therefore, you do not have to be hard on yourself. You have to focus your thoughts, both negative and positive, only on people who are really worth it, trying to forget everything that brings unhappiness.