Forgive Yourself, Just That

Forgive yourself Be brave enough to be compassionate to yourself. Stop criticizing yourself, blaming yourself, thinking about what would have happened if you had acted differently … Why do you mistreat yourself so much?

Do you really think that treating yourself like this will advance something? Do you think that punishing yourself is the solution to your mistakes? A mistake is just a failed way of trying something, but not the reason for the downfall of the person who makes it. Forgive yourself

You don’t need to hate yourself, to yell at yourself from within, to attribute to yourself all the most negative qualifications you find … Not even that what you did and that was not successful now becomes the majority of your identity. How are you able to reduce all that you are to a mistake? Why do you mask your values, your virtues, your genius? Forgive yourself

I understand that you did not want it to happen like this, that it was not your intention, but not that from that moment you hid in the deep cave of self-loathing. Let me tell you something. I do not want to convince you, I simply invite you to reflect. Then you decide.

Being wrong is human

Being wrong is human. That’s how it is. To err is common, especially if we want to evolve. Not only you do it, but everyone else. Some every day, others from time to time … We choose so many times in a life that it is impossible to always identify the best option. Even, as William James said, when we must make a choice and we do not make it, that is already a choice and as such, there is a probability of being wrong.

As you can see, you have not done anything that other people have not done. Rather, it is the norm, rather than the exception. Although you insist on thinking the opposite. A mistake is an invitation to discover another way, another way of doing things. A direct springboard to improve. It is not the hole in which to fall in order not to get out any more, to get trapped and to abandon. Nor is it the reason to whip you, to be at the same time your judge and executioner.

Now there are mistakes and errors. Everything has to be said. There are those that are done without intention and those that carry an offense and willful humiliation towards second people. These are much more complex and require a more special treatment, especially if they are repeated over time.

Perhaps they are notices of pride, resentment, or emotional immaturity. In any case, when control over them has been lost, it is best to go to a professional. But I have not come here to speak of the latter, but of the former. Of those that we commit more often and that become our chains …

Don’t become your worst enemy

You may not have realized it yet, but from your mistake, little by little, you have become your worst enemy. The first day you lamented and thought what a fool you had been, but then all you have done is throw poison words at you. You have declared war.

You have fallen into the most voracious and ruthless self-criticism … until you reach the deepest contempt. And all this in silence. Yes, while you were doing your day to day, while you were going from one place to another, in the shower, in bed … Without realizing it, you have classified yourself as a monster and although on the outside almost nobody perceives it, your interior has been breaking down.

Maybe you are leaving some clues, such as being defensive or duller than normal. You may also have limited your life a bit more. You no longer want to do certain things or at times, you have stopped talking to others. The point is, the act of making a mistake has completely invaded your life and disoriented you.

Doubt, excessive worry, comparison, guilt, and criticism are now your best friends. It seems that you don’t know how to do anything without them, and if they don’t appear, you go looking for them. You have been trapped in discomfort.

Forgive yourself to move on

Do you still think that you have dealt with your mistake in the best possible way? Do you think that becoming your enemy is the right price for having you confused? Let me tell you no. You are much more than the collection of all your mistakes. 

Forgive yourself It is the only way to break with everything you have built up to now. The best way to break the chains that trap you, so you can move forward. But do not do it because it touches or because you are reading it right now, but because you really feel that way.

What done is done. You cannot change it. You don’t have the power to travel back in time to change what happened, but you do have the courage to make amends for that mistake by looking for other alternatives. This does not mean that you ignore it, but that you have enough courage to take responsibility for it.

Look in the mirror and reconcile with yourself.  Ask yourself for forgiveness. Do it for real, from the bottom of your heart. Give yourself another chance. Because there is nothing that teaches us more than a mistake. If we choose her as a teacher and not as a partner, of course.