Can Being Too Responsible Be Harmful?

At present we lead a rhythm of life loaded with tasks that, by collateral effect, fill us with responsibility. We are constantly saying “I have to …”, “I need to do …” or “I should have gone …”. These seemingly innocent phrases leave us with a queue of feelings of obligation and responsibility that can be truly harmful. So, a question arises, can it be negative to be very responsible?

Having responsibilities is good, as well as necessary, but if we do not know how to manage everything that implies, we can fall into a series of thoughts that determine how we behave with ourselves and others.

In fact, this magnified sense of responsibility has been linked to a good variety of consequences: anxiety, depression, obsessions, eating disorders, communication problems, etc.

What is hiding behind someone very responsible?

Being responsible, by definition, is being aware of and committed to obligations. However, a personality where the sense of responsibility is great, in reality, may be indicating other psychological aspects that may be a trap.

Perfectionism

Responsibility implies wanting to do things and wanting to do them well. Obviously, we all like to be efficient and get good results. However, there are people who seek true perfection.

The problem is that the concept of perfection is subjective and is based on what each one considers ideal. Thus, a perfectionist usually sets a high goal and until he does not achieve it, he will not finish the task.

Therefore, they spend a lot of time focusing on their objective, becoming rigid or even controlling. The problem is that the perfectionist really spends all that time suffering in case they cannot achieve it. And, in turn, you are fostering their insecurity and lack of confidence. Especially since they will rarely be satisfied with the result obtained, and any failure will be perceived as a genuine personal failure.

Self-demand

In relation to the above, very responsible people tend to demand too much. They want to take on a multitude of tasks, especially as this ensures that they will be carried out and in the “right” way. This means that, at the same time, they demand too much of themselves. They want to overcome all adversities and fulfill all obligations, creating levels of self-demand that may exceed their true capabilities.

Thus, being demanding and responsible can become a trap. The goal can become to surpass yourself, or others, rather than meet certain obligations. And in that case, if there is a problem or the result is less than expected, feelings of frustration, shame and guilt will be addressed.

Expectations

Having obligations implies meeting certain expectations. Whether it’s finishing an important task at work or picking up a package from an office for a family member, it means someone is waiting for us to do something. And, of course, someone who is a perfectionist, self-demanding and responsible, cannot fail in their task.

Likewise, someone who is very responsible sets high expectations for himself. As with the previous aspects, setting expectations has, on the one hand, the advantage that it helps to achieve a goal. But, on the other, the danger of not getting it. And it is difficult that the result will be exactly what was expected, and having invested effort in it, the consequences can be fatal.

Consequences

Responsibility inevitably leads to having a more fixed idea about what is correct and having more concerns. Thus, like everything else, when this reaches high levels, it gives rise to a series of consequences that, if not managed, can end up doing a lot of damage.

Psychological

Worries do not mean more than anticipating future events. Thus, focusing on whether or not we will comply, if we will obtain the desired result, the desire to improve, etc., ends up generating a general feeling of anxiety.

In fact, a joint study by the University of Hiroshima and the University of Central Florida has found that responsibility is the common denominator of generalized anxiety disorders and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

These scientists identified three main types of responsibility: the subjective need to care for and protect others, the effort to find a solution to a problem and the feelings of guilt, of feeling responsible for everything.

In that same study, they found that the last type was the one that generated the most anxiety in the participants. This is because it involves constantly thinking about the impact that the actions themselves have on the environment, generating in turn more concern and responsibility.

Social

Excessively responsible people, as indicated above, also have high levels of self-demand. Thus, it is common to see that these people are also very demanding of others.

Their rigid beliefs and their solid perception of what is appropriate, make them expect the same of others, and they will hardly understand ways of acting other than their own. That’s when few people will live up to your expectations.

In short, hyper-responsible people have a distorted and closed view of reality, assuming obligations that may not even exist and demanding that they comply. Therefore, it is necessary to establish priorities and learn to discern what we can assume  and our true capabilities. And, above all, understand how far our limits go.