Being Physically Unattractive, A Barrier To Finding A Partner?

The bad news is, yes: being physically unattractive makes finding a partner a bit more difficult. The good news is that that small barrier, in return, also prepares you, if you want it and you do a little on your part, to establish higher quality relationships. All up to you.

Many times love admits the metaphor of the market , where there is supply and demand. In times when love runs, the most requested “products” are: the most attractive to the eye, those with money or the recognition of other people. Although it is seldom posed in these terms, so it is uncomfortable to undress love of its romantic and innocent attire, in practice the truth is that love is influenced by a series of biological laws that influence us as living beings that we are. Laws that go against some and in favor of others.

Whoever meets these attributes has it easier in the love market, there is no doubt about that. But having it easier is not always having it better. It happens, very often, that this apparent ease ends up playing against and that, on the contrary, the difficulty ends up becoming a strength. Especially if we stop talking about the love market and start talking about true love. Since, as Ortega y Gasset says …

Physical attractiveness: a longing for many who believe they do not enjoy it

Physical attractiveness is an arbitrary attribute since its definition refers more to the person who perceives than to the person who is perceived. To a large extent it does not depend on the effort of the person, but on different anatomical parameters especially related to the face. On the other hand, it is each culture that defines – or has a great influence on the definition – what is beautiful and what is not. Therefore, it operates as an imposed factor.

It is also a condition that does not have major effects on society. Whether people are beautiful or not, ultimately contributes little to the progress of humanity as a whole. In fact, the group of famous, unattractive figures is much larger than that of geniuses, thinkers or heroes who can also respond to the current canon of beauty.

Currently there are some that are born and others that become beautiful. In these times, attractiveness is something that you can buy. Physically redesigning a person is a real possibility. It is achieved in operating rooms, in gyms and thanks to thousands of products and procedures that are acquired in beauty centers.

On the other hand, no matter how important it may be for the evolution of society, people do tend to worry a lot about how attractive the image we project is. In fact, we find people who suffer a lot of anxiety about it, others who fall into the well of depression and many others who make real efforts of will to go against the wishes of their body in order for it to be maintained or maintained. acquire a certain form, whether with sports or food.

Physical beauty and the couple

Physical attractiveness is something that, as the name implies, attracts, confers advantage and now in effort. It is called attractive because whoever has it has a kind of magnet to attract the attention of others in this sense, it can facilitate the conquest of a possible partner. In addition, a beautiful partner continues to be a sign of status, of value, especially in certain cultures, and it more easily awakens erotic impulses. That is, of course, a real barrier for those who are not so handsome.

A physically unattractive person, if he wants to improve his options of finding or choosing a partner, will be able to choose two ways. One of them is to become a victim of that logic and the other is to subvert it. Whoever agrees to be a victim of the situation ends up lowering his arms and hiding in his shell, so that in addition to being unattractive, the easiest thing is for him to develop interaction strategies that make him even less attractive. On the other hand, whoever accepts the challenge ends up building a different logic in which with their attitude they achieve that other people can access and appreciate other types of characteristics that do make them attractive.

One thing is certain: while physical attractiveness opens the doors of conquest more easily, it does not facilitate the subsequent path. It is an advantage in the first steps, but not beyond. It can even play against the person who is attractive, since the rest of the characteristics that are given to “second sight” may not measure up to that attractiveness and end up producing a disappointment in the expectations of the other. In this sense, sometimes your relationships end as easily as they began.

Physical attractiveness also ends up playing against them when they want to go beyond an occasional conquest. Beauty is only an absolute value in the minds of some teenagers, those who carry complex bass or those who are very alienated.

There are many messages aimed at making us believe that the world is made for the beautiful, the rich and the powerful. This message is fed by people who profit financially from the people who believe them, showing an almost infinite willingness to sacrifice to gain the highest point of beauty that such expensive cream or gymnastics apparatus offers.

Thus, low physical attractiveness is a barrier to finding a partner, it cannot be denied. But it is not a barrier to loving and being loved. Nor is it the only facet of us that makes us more attractive or more repellent. There are more and on which perhaps we have a greater influence, such as our attitude or our personality.

Images courtesy of Antonio Mora