Being And Not Doing, The Solution Of Many Problems

One of the first questions we ask ourselves when we have a problem is: What should I do? And instantly, we reflect on the different possible alternatives to act. However, some problems are not resolved after that exercise. They are repeated, or they are simply postponed, but they are not solved. This is because perhaps we should focus on being and not doing.

At first this may sound a bit abstract, but it is actually a very concrete idea. Some problems are not solved because the solution is not to take some specific action to put an end to them. What they demand is a change , either in focus, in attitude, or in some aspect of the personality. That is why there is talk of being and not doing.

Doing becomes useless when the origin of a difficulty is in being. Take, for example, someone who repeatedly tries to get their partner to pay more attention to them. It is frequently demanded from him and he wants him to commit to respect. However, it cannot fix what happens. Perhaps the right thing to do is not to complain (to do), but to review what is behind your frustrated need for attention (to be).

To be and not to do in various circumstances

The first idea to emphasize is that many times we cannot define a problem or point out what is really problematic about it. Many times what prevails is the desire to push it away, to get rid of it. We see it exclusively as an inconvenience or a threat that must be faced as soon as possible.

This leads us to hurry many times. The spring of action, or reaction, is activated long before a reasonable analysis of the situation has been completed. Staying inactive for a while is not an option for many. That is why it is said that we have reached a time that is not of human beings, but of “human doing.”

The most practical and material problems are usually solved by doing something. If the faucet leaks, it must be repaired. This does not require further reflection because it is a visible difficulty, which can be specified and against which there are already established action protocols. Faced with more abstract problems, the situation is different. This is when it becomes important to be and not to do.

The attitude towards a problem is a personal creation

Each one is building a particular way of reacting to problems. While some see them as a challenge that sparks their interest, others see them as a risk that must be quickly avoided. This is the first aspect in which being and not doing comes into play. It is in being where a difficulty is given meaning, where an attitude is forged in front of it.

Sometimes we gain a lot when we observe and evaluate our own attitude towards a problem. Would a more constructive look help us in solving it? Had that difficulty come up before? Has what we have done to solve it been effective or not? The first thing that occurs to us is to do the same thing that has already been shown to be ineffective in the past?

Being and not doing means advancing those reflections and looking for approaches that include a look at what we feel and think, compared to what happens to us. It is very likely that the way we see the problem and the attitude we assume towards it are what is determining its prolongation or its solution.

Observe, accept and understand

Being and not doing implies eliminating the automatisms in the face of difficulties. If you are attacked, perhaps the reasonable thing to do is not to attack again. If you fail at some task, perhaps it is best not to try to minimize or hide that error. If things do not work out in the couple, it is likely that the way out is not in claiming the other.

It is good to try not to get carried away by our immediate beliefs. Also do not rush into judgments and do not deny or turn your back on problems. Instead, it might be a good idea to observe the difficulty with an open mind. Without prejudices or preconceptions that alter our perception. Then accept that we have a problem, without being filled with anguish. And guide us to understand what really happens and how we ourselves contribute to this happening.

In other words, if we balance our being and connect with ourselves before acting, we are more likely to hit the road ahead. To be and not to do. Find us again before taking the next step. Look inside ourselves and not outside. Work on who we are so that what we do goes up a level.