How Can I Accompany My Partner In Managing His Emotions

Can I accompany my partner in managing his emotions? Something we must understand about this issue is that no matter how much we want to, we will not be able to do each other’s work. We would love to alleviate the sorrows of the loved one, appease their anger, dissuade their fears and heal their anguish. Now, what we can do is be present, be his allies, his best refuge and his lap of calm.

When we maintain a relationship, if there is something we want, it is that there is well-being, that the other person is well and that together we can move forward building a happy and satisfied bond. However, difficult times always come. We all go through better moments and worse moments, those in which it is essential to have the support of your partner.

If we truly want to be of help, it is essential that we know how to offer stability and that balance that the other needs. Understanding, not judging and knowing how to be without invading are decisive elements. As is safeguarding our psychological comfort and not taking charge of areas or responsibilities that are not ours.

Keys to know how to accompany my partner in managing his emotions

There is a fairly common fact that occurs in relationships: “what happens to one affects the other.” Suffering emotional contagions in our affective bonds is something common and although it is expected, it is not recommended.

Why do we say this? We emphasize it because if the other feels frustrated, angry and depressed we will be of little help if we do not feel the same way.

Thus, in the event that our partner comes home from work stressed and with a certain level of overwhelm, the last thing we can do is allow ourselves to be infected by that same emotional state. You have to know how to react and be that beacon of light and balance in which the other can be guided to find peace. 

This apparently makes sense and is to be expected, in reality, it is not easy to carry out for everyone. Research works such as those carried out at the University of Braunschweig indicate that not all couples have good emotional skills. Emotional intelligence and emotional awareness fail.

It is important to know some keys on how to accompany the couple in managing their emotions.

1. Affective responsibility: I care about you, you are important to me

The first idea that we must integrate is that of affective responsibility towards our partner. This means that to be of help it is necessary for the other to feel loved, understood and validated. He must perceive in us an authentic closeness and, for this, we must attend to the following aspects:

• We will facilitate dialogue and emotional relief.
• We will listen without judgment.
• We will validate every emotion and every word. We will make you see that everything you say and feel is important to us. For the psychologists Greenberg & Goldman (2008), authors of the book Emotion ‑ focused Couples Therapy , validation always involves making the other see that their experience makes sense and we understand it.

We are your best alliance and your pillar of the day to day, our responsibility is to be by your side creating an environment of respect, affection and trust.

2. Accompanying the couple in managing their emotions is not wanting to solve their problems

Accompanying someone emotionally is not doing the work for him or her. We cannot act as saviors or carry responsibilities that do not belong to us. If our partner suffers from depression or anxiety, we cannot cope with it for her. We will be by your side at all times, we will be your best support, but there are tasks that must be done alone.

Therefore, it is essential to always be clear that the most important thing is to know how to be present, but without being intrusive or directive. It is also encouraging the other to face their personal problems and challenges on their own.

3. Ask what you need

Accompanying my partner in managing his emotions also implies asking him what he needs. Sometimes people try to anticipate and offer the other what we think is best. However, this can lead to mistakes, discomfort, and even further escalation of emotional pain.

For example, nothing happens if in a moment what our partner asks of us is loneliness. Knowing what you want at all times will allow us to be the best support.

4. I support you, I am with you in any circumstance

When a person deals with his own emotions, be it sadness, despair, anguish or even frustration or anger, what he experiences very often is loneliness. It is the feeling that nobody understands it and that this burden is extremely heavy for oneself.

Therefore, accompanying my partner in managing his emotions also means making him see that I am by his side. It is to show him that my support is constant and non-combustible. It involves reminding you that we will be by your side at any time, situation and circumstance … All of this instills peace and security in the other. 

To conclude, in the journey of life complex times will always appear in which our emotions will be at the limit. Knowing how to be for each other implies developing basic communication skills, emotional intelligence and that empathy that knows how to intuit needs and act accordingly.