The Past Is Past

I have heard that phrase for a long time, they sing it with enthusiasm in passionate songs, you see yourself in the middle of a movie and the heroine and the gallant insist on convincing themselves that the past is past and nothing more.

But it is not easy to do it, the past is not forgotten just like that. Although it is easy to say: the past is the past! Of course it is … But how much have we left in the past to move on?

We look for reasons to justify ourselves

We are by nature insistent. If someone abandons us, we only want to make an effort to discover what failed the relationship, and when nostalgia invades us, we want to rebuild it step by step, to once again let ourselves be carried away by a thousand useless considerations.

We look for reasons as an excuse to be able to justify what has happened and what we feel in the past, try to find a logic to stay more calm. And if we abandon someone, we are always thinking about what we did well, but: “what if I had done this”. An eternal return to the past, that although we do not recognize it, we all do.

When we have been wrong and we regret, when we have been hurt and we feel hurt, we constantly go back to the past, to regret what we have done when nothing can be done, and we go back to the past to regret our fate, as if they had not a thousand better things to happen in our present and in our future.

There is no such time machine that one day will take us to those moments when we were happy with someone we have lost, nor will it lead us to recover the pieces of our heart, nor will it allow us to make amends for our bad decisions of yesterday …

Turn the page to move on

We can only do something … I have thought about it for a long time … Years ago, when something like a breakup happened to me, I spent a long time building castles in the air, where things were fixed, and the same happened when, as a human that I am, I had wrong at something …

Unhappy with me, I was losing energy and I was exhausted from thinking about things that did not happen anymore, and I saw the current life go by while I insisted on the inevitable … We  have to turn the page, move on.

The best we can do is, think better of things when we make decisions, take risks but think that later we will live the consequences, do what we want; after all, that’s what motivates us.

That regret for not having tried is always worse than being wrong, because in that there is no doubt, you were wrong, make amends and move on, but if you don’t do anything, you always wonder what would have happened?

Learn from the past

Doing whatever is done and fitting in with our past, going through the phases of denial, anger and acceptance are healthy and normal. When we accept things, we are willing to move on, because we have understood what happened, why, and we have overcome it.

And with the accelerated days that we live in, the calendar sheets subtract days from us at speeds that we barely know. Why waste energy on time, people or things that will not come back … If, as they say, there will always be things, people, and time for more … I love to think that: “I was wrong in the past”, but I learned a lot and moved on …

There are things that I barely remember and I am not mistaken about some that always stay with us, but they are no longer “toxic” or negative, they cannot even hurt or worry us, they can only serve as experience …  The rest is past and the past is forgotten and overcome