The Need For Recognition, A Pillar Of Self-esteem

We all need to be recognized. It is not a matter of pride, selfishness or immaturity. Not at all, the human being, from its earliest stages, needs the respect and affection of all those around him, where that sincere recognition of our person is implicit.

With this act our value as a human being is revealed: as someone who is loved and deserves to be loved. Our virtues and our capacities to advance and achieve things are recognized. To be happy with maturity and integrity. Under this essential dimension is also the strength of those bonds of attachment that give us confidence and that help us to grow.

Our parents, our family, is the first social circle in charge of giving us recognition, respect and affection. If we have this first “substrate”, we will also have the privilege of self-esteem. The one with which to move forward emotionally and personally.

Later, and through social relationships, we will also obtain recognition from friends and partners. However, be careful, just as we accept to receive it, it is also essential to know how to offer recognition to others : “I value you as a person, I appreciate you and I believe in you. I know what you are capable of and I respect you for it. You are part of my life”. Let’s delve into the concept of recognition.

Recognition is worth more than money

To understand the importance of recognition in the human being , it is worth remembering Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Thus, once the person has covered the first three levels of the pyramid (physiological, food and parentage), the fourth level arrives.

Maslow defines this fourth step as the ability to feel good about one’s own self-concept. And we do it thanks to the way others treat us.

If I perceive that my closest and most intimate environment values ​​me, I will grow with greater security. If my teachers, colleagues, and bosses appreciate who I am and what I do, I will be using that valuable recognition to strengthen my self-concept and self-esteem.

An example of this relationship can be seen in a study carried out at Stanford University to find out what factors depended on the performance and happiness of workers in companies. As curious as it is , the recognition was more appreciated even than the salary itself.

Recognition and self-esteem

The child who grows up in a safe environment and with a healthy attachment will mature with greater strength and psychological well-being. Someone who is loved from the beginning of his life, feels worthy of that affection. Even more, if my environment appreciates me, I understand in turn that I too must respect myself, love myself, value myself …

Now, sometimes, as we well know, this rule of three is not given. Sometimes we grow up in settings lacking in appreciation and emotional validation. It is then that we fall into the error of thinking that we do not deserve certain things. That wound, that of disaffection and lack of recognition creates havoc.

That is why it is important to remember that link between recognition and self-esteem.

1. Recognition reminds us that we deserve respect

Essential. If you do not value yourself and recognize yourself as a capable and important person, you have nothing. Love always begins with the person himself. If I value myself and am able to see all my virtues and my right to be happy, I will be capable of almost anything. Above all to bring integrity to myself.

2. It gives me self-confidence

When someone in my environment (whom I consider important) recognizes my worth, progress and greatness, I acquire self-confidence. And I do it because I realize that I am doing things right. I do it because my person and my behavior generates well-being and mutual benefit

3. I learn to have control over myself

Imagine a child who is constantly punished. It does not matter if you do things right or wrong, all you receive are reproaches and criticism. There will come a time when you will not be able to regulate your behavior because you will not know how to act to do things correctly.

People also need recognition to feel capable of doing things for ourselves. As soon as I perceive that I have potential, I take control in the right direction.

4. Recognition makes me grow

When your family appreciates you, when your friends and partner value you and your work environment recognizes your worth, everything changes. Self-esteem flourishes and you no longer look at the world from lack, but from possibility. You feel good about yourself and your vision of yourself improves. You stop comparing yourself, you stop feeling insecure, and you start believing with greater confidence.

On the other hand, and in case you do not have or do not have this gift, that of the recognition of your entire environment, it is necessary that you do the following: e

The need for healthy recognition

As you can see, we have been talking about an essential recognition that underpins the concept of self-esteem. Although we also have to make a small nuance. Surely you know one or more people who always seek recognition from others.

They are people who expect their actions, their words, their behaviors, their attitudes and even their physique to be valued. When these needs become almost obsessive we would be talking about an unhealthy recognition. The one who looks for what he does not find on the outside.

In other words, as we have pointed out previously, it is essential that recognition also starts from one’s own inner strength. It is not necessary for others to recognize that I am a person of integrity and courage. I don’t need every moment and every hour to be told how well I do things. I know it too, because I have learned it.

It is true that we all need friends, family and partner to offer us recognition. But not in an obsessive and continuous way. Because then, what I will be showing is a clear insecurity in my person. And then a pillar of my self-esteem will be breaking.

Recognition is vital for the human being. It helps us to grow safely. But it is also essential that we exercise it within ourselves, making it rise as an internal locomotive capable of giving us confidence, strength and stability.