I Have Stopped Waiting For Trains: Now I Am The Movement

I have stopped waiting for trains bearing my name, behind is the platform of broken illusions and dreams that never come, because now, I am the one who carries the movement, I who creates the path. So, whoever wants to can do this voyage of discovery with me, but whoever doesn’t want to, can also get off at the next station.

Assuming this simple but courageous attitude would undoubtedly be a great step in our personal growth and in that sometimes fluctuating emotional well-being. However, we have to admit it, if there is something we are used to, it is to wait, and even more, to feed that waiting with the filigree of longing dreams and with the chisel of a perfection that is sometimes unattainable.

Now, sometimes, and this is important to clarify, it is society itself that with its tentacles, its filters and its funnels, leads us to that anteroom in which it is only expected. The complex world of work and its intricate recesses means that we have to postpone many things, that we are forced to have a new title, a new competition, a contract or a “more dignified contract”, to allow changes to arrive and that long-awaited movement where life is inscribed.

However, despite the current socioeconomic context making us captives of those endless waiting rooms, what nothing and no one can take away from us is our attitude. The movement is within us. Therefore, it does not matter that at first glance all the trains go against direction, because whoever is clear about their path, their dreams and ideals, is obliged not to wait, never to stop.

When “waiting” makes us believe that our life is on hold

There are many realities by which a person can have the clear feeling that someone has given the “pause”. Being without a partner, being without a job, having failed in a personal project or being rejected on a professional or emotional level are undoubtedly some of those examples that pierce our innermost corners, the deepest parts of our being until we become immobilized.

Now, it is necessary to understand that life is never on hold, it always flows, sprouts, happens and vibrates. However, the one who has stopped is us, it is our spirit, it is our desire and it is our motivation. Bernice Neugarten was one of the first psychologists to study adult development and those very complex times of our life cycle where people have the clear perception that our reality has stopped, frozen in a sad, apathetic and dull frame.

Neurgarten established the theory of “life on Hold” as a transition that we must know how to face. The biggest problem is that we often have a vision of the future that is too ambiguous, uncertain or even pessimistic. Thoughts such as “my train has already passed, I am not going to find the ideal partner” or “it is clear that I am not going to find a good job” , outline a style of thought that will further stagnate that waiting stage, making the transition to something difficult. better.

3 keys to be the movement of our lives

The first key is simple: we must be clear about our objective, our point on the horizon.  However, yes, it is good that it is a clear and realistic goal, according to our possibilities but without ever underestimating our own potential.

• The second aspect that Bernice Neugarten left us in her theories about life transitions is the need to rehearse our future day by day. It is not enough to dream it. If I long to have a good partner, I will first worry about taking care of myself as a person, about growing up, about being what I long to find in others. If I want to aspire to have a good job, I will invest day by day in that purpose, training myself professionally and mentally.

• The third part in this plan is just as interesting. We must feel that we are active, proactive and creative protagonists. It is necessary to stop feeling subordinate to something or someone. If society does not make room for me, perhaps it should be me who is obliged to create “that space” for myself. Perhaps I should innovate, offer something new to the job market that generates interest, be me the moving train in a quiet environment …

To conclude, someone once said that. Let us be the engine of our own growth, let us be active, excited, realistic but optimistic beings, possessors of that incredible force capable of giving the world wonderful things and in turn, generating the happiness that we really deserve.