When we decide to have a child, we don’t really think about the work and responsibility that it entails.

We are going to bring a person into the world. Someone who will be what we educate and create. This is the real job, the one that requires the most effort, but the one that makes us feel the most joyous.

What are we doing wrong? It is a question that we must always ask ourselves.

Rectification is necessary in these cases. We are not talking about something temporary. The education that our children will receive will  define what they will be tomorrow.

Positive and negative reinforcement

Surely, it is something that you remember well from your childhood and that, unintentionally, you are reproducing it in the same way with your children.

When you only pay attention to your children when they do wrong things, for example, when they cry, speak badly, they are not responsible … you are leaving aside the positive actions that they do.

Not reinforcing the positive, causes that when our son does something well he does not feel useful, satisfied.

He has to feel that his good behavior also has a reward. But, we are not talking about a material prize. A single positive word from the parents will make the child feel happy to see the pride of their parents.

Although it may not seem like it, unconsciously, we may be reinforcing negative actions. We no longer only ignore the positive ones, but we also influence those that we recriminate so much.

If you only pay attention to your child when he catches your attention by crying, throwing a tantrum or exposing you, you are sending him the wrong message. He will know perfectly well what to do to get your attention. The question is , what happens if one day you don’t succeed?

Rules and limits

The rules are necessary, because they teach our children to comply with them, just as it will happen tomorrow at school or at work.

There are parents who do not agree on this to establish norms, although they are very few. What is more generalized is the tendency to be incoherent in terms of them.

The rules are not only valid for children. If you do not comply, your children will not understand why they should respect what you are violating.

Because I am older? Because I say it? You are not teaching your child properly with these acts. The rules are the same for everyone, otherwise they won’t make any sense.

It is true that the limits must be present. Children are not born learned and we must teach them how far they can go in certain situations.

Nor is it necessary to clip their wings, as you can cause the opposite effect. But, it is true that they must learn rules to avoid being rude or continuously disrespectful.

Children learn fast, so the sooner we act, the better. In education matters it is now or never.

Before you think they will get older and everything you haven’t taught them will turn against you. Above all, be firm, responsible and consistent. Your children will be grate full to you.

They are not the center of the world

Of course, it is important to pay attention to our children, but let’s not confuse that with making them believe that they are the center of everything and everyone.

Many times we criticize those people who believe they are the center of the universe, do not make your child think that everything revolves around him.

Considering yourself the center will cause your child to not be generous to others, no longer in the materialistic sense, but in the emotional sense.

It is necessary that he knows how to empathize and that he knows that he will not always be the center of attention, others will also occupy that place.

You should not always be there for their tantrums, their needs, their fears … Your children must learn to defend themselves.

That they consider themselves the center of attention and have you at all times to satisfy their needs will cause them not to know how to deal with adversities that may arise without warning.

Giving in to whims, not being firm or consistent with the rules and limits will cause the education you think you are giving your child not to bear fruit.

Therefore, ask yourself if you are doing well, consult a second point of view. It is not for you, but for your children. They will be what you teach them today.