Unfiltered People: Misunderstood Sincerity

People without a filter do not know how to inhibit their feelings, thoughts, or emotions. Therefore, they release the first thing that comes to mind, without considering the consequences of what they share. They often hide behind their incorruptible sincerity, but beware! The truth should not be confused with judging others in an unpleasant way, without any basis and without anyone having asked for their opinion.

It is true that the basis of any lasting personal relationship is sincerity. Being honest means saying what you think, but with respect, affection and in the right context. For example, if you do not like your best friend’s new haircut, it is preferable that you say “everything looks good on you, but the one you had favors you more”. That a “I don’t like it at all, I prefer the other one” resoundingly prevail. They are two ways of saying the same thing, but one can hurt sensibilities and the other can even encourage.

They talk and then they think

People without a filter do not pass their words through the sieve of reflection. They blurt out their truth and then they already see the extent of its consequences. If they harm others, they hide behind what they consider their main virtue: always telling the truth. They are adults who do not doubt their word and who take sincerity to extreme levels. When there is an embarrassing situation; they will make it even more uncomfortable.

For this reason, they rarely bite their tongues and are not usually left with the desire to say something. Your inkwell is empty. They are normally very active, show off their extroversion and cannot stand silences. And if they exist and are prolonged, they break them by saying the first thing that comes to mind.

Loved and hated in equal measure

However, when someone needs a friend to tell them things clearly, they are always at the top of their list. There are times when it is essential for us to listen to someone tell us what the majority really think. And, in these cases, people without a filter are highly valued, mainly because the rest of the group often trusts their honesty.

But, if on the contrary, before a delicate and painful moment, they do not measure their words, they can be truly abhorrent. They tend to make firewood from the fallen tree. For this reason, as we can see, his sincerity is highly valued in some cases, but also highly feared in others.

You are usually very radical in your decisions

For people without a filter there are no half measures. Either everything is black or white. And also, they want others to be the same as them; in fact, they do not understand that they are otherwise. They express their opinion openly, without fear of what others might think. But, in addition, they challenge others to express  their position with the same sincerity . And the sooner the better. Somehow, the rest are forced to say something that, without that pressure, they would not say.

Have the last word

If you ever try to come up with a plan, try to get the unfiltered people to agree with you. Because, unfortunately, they usually have the last word in the decisions that are made. And if they are not satisfied, they express their disagreement and try to get everyone to take their side. They tend to master manipulation, because they handle well in social settings. It’s good to have them as allies, while being fearsome as enemies.

How to act with them?

Shy people are often afraid of them. They will remain silent in the face of their inclement weather and will assume whatever decision they make for them. Therefore, to avoid such intimidation, a supreme exercise of diplomacy is necessary.

People without a filter don’t pay much attention to detail. Their attention tends to be located very quickly on what is important to them. Therefore, it works well to make them believe that they are the ones who have the last word in a decision ; although, in reality, it has been someone else who has previously and implicitly taken it.

In addition, it is convenient to make them see that a conversation is making us uncomfortable or that we do not want to do something to which it is little less than forcing us. It is not about avoiding contact with her, but about confronting her, with respect and moderation. For example, “I think that right now is not the best time to talk about this, we will solve it another time.” “It is preferable that I think about it calmly and then I communicate my decision to you.”

It is not advisable to get on their level, because it would lead to an escalation of atrocities commonly known as “sincericide.” Something like dying killing, through misunderstood sincerity.

Actually, a person always performs a previous exercise before speaking. It lasts milliseconds, but it is key to assess what we are going to say. If our words do not contribute anything nice or good, it is better to keep quiet. Because sometimes, the absence of them is better and more rewarding than a totally inappropriate phrase.