When A Friendship Betrays Us With Our Partner: What To Do?

Some say it’s the oldest story in the world, but it still hurts and it’s never expected. When a friendship betrays us with our partner, the suffering is double and the unspeakable is lost. We lose a love and commitment placed on a person. We let go of that other complicit figure who was everything to us as well. Because friends, like loves, also build the substratum of our heart.

These types of events occur almost daily throughout the world. When we start a relationship, it is common for friends to also occupy common spaces in that daily life. We celebrate dinners, parties, organize trips and it is expected that this interrelation is a constant and that the proximity also occurs between them.

Rarely does our mind dwell on that concern: that something might happen between them. We do not think about it because we trust, because our friendships are sincere and there are many years shared to harbor the idea of ​​a betrayal, we tell ourselves. Nor do we fear for our partner, because when the affection is authentic there are no doubts.

However, it does happen on occasion. And although it may seem like the end of the world, it is important to remember that the world is still in orbit, the stars in their place and we also deserve to continue moving forward despite this betrayal. Even if it hurts, it can and should be overcome. We analyze it.

What to do when a friendship betrays us with our partner?

It is often said that losing a friend is as painful as losing a love. However, when both things happen and through infidelity, the psychological impact can be greater.

For this reason, it is common to find many people who still carry with them the weight of that mark from the past, the still unhealed wound of an unexpected betrayal and who do not know how to handle it.

The truth is that nobody knows. Nobody can give us a manual on how to overcome the pain of this type of experience with 100% success. However, there are strategies that can help us go through these experiences with greater poise and success, without further stoking the wound, without making it bigger. Let’s see some keys.

Clarify the situation: it is good to have a dialogue with them

When a friendship betrays us with our partner, it is normal to react with anger, sadness and bewilderment. It is common to get carried away by emotions and not think clearly. There are those who make the decision to put distance at the moment, to quickly break the relationship and friendship.

Now, research papers, such as those carried out at the University of Oxford, point to something important. Betrayal causes a psychological wound that should not be intensified with revenge or bad language. It is common for us to experience on our own skin the spectrum of all those more complex emotions, such as anger, doubt and even repulsion.

In these circumstances it is good to have a dialogue with these people after a few days. Letting them be explained and also explaining to us what that fact implies is appropriate. Making use of assertiveness and favoring respectful communication can allow us to give a healthier closure to that situation.

Accept and process all feelings: all emotion is valid

Every emotion is valid when a friendship betrays us with a partner. Including those that we sometimes call “ugly or uncomfortable emotions”, such as revulsion or anger. All felt emotion must be accepted because it is the reflection of a psychological impact that we must process. And for that duel to be successful, we must give presence to each sensation, to each emotion and feeling, but without letting ourselves be carried away by them.

Likewise, one must accept a fact and that is that this betrayal is twofold and therefore a more complex and delicate duel will have to be carried out. We must take time and rely on people who listen and understand us. Venting thoughts, crying, resting, walking and reflecting will be those daily exercises that will accompany us for a few weeks.

Disappointment will always be there, but forgiveness will allow us to turn the page

Many will say that such acts are not forgiven, that when the betrayal is so sharp it is impossible to grant any simile of forgiveness. However, the act of forgiveness does not mean that one accepts or agrees with what others have done. Nor does it imply justifying the unjustifiable.

Forgiveness implies understanding. And in this case, we are obliged to understand the motives that led to this infidelity and deception. As complex as it may be to grant forgiveness to those who hurt us, it will allow us to release grudges and anger to move forward more easily. With less weights.

When a friendship betrays us with our partner: reformulating the present

When a friendship betrays us with our partner, the world falls apart. It’s true. That duel will be more arduous and complex, however, we will be able to rebuild our small vital universe again in another way, with other friends, other enriching figures and other plans for the present and the future. Reformulating our vital projects is undoubtedly a good step.

Infidelities and disappointments caused by love and friends are painful, but they can be overcome. We are made of unique materials capable of threading in us exceptional strengths, those that allow us to emerge from the hardest experiences.