Building Bridges Is Better Than Building Walls

There is a misconception that building walls when we have been hurt is the best way to safeguard ourselves from new pain, especially since building bridges that favor the beginning of other relationships seems too risky. “I’ve suffered enough,” we tell ourselves, and we put a whole defense army at the doors of our hearts.

It is true that currently going through life with a shield and spear is easier than showing ourselves vulnerable. In addition, it is much more practical: you avoid disappointing trusts, unnecessary falls and little or no deserved stabs. However, do you really not think that it is time to put aside the resentment, the reservations and the fears?

Perhaps you will tell me no, that they have laughed at you enough and, despite sympathizing with that, I will say yes: we would not be fully living beings if we did not make ourselves known to new people, different experiences, cycles that are they start and come to close those endings of only one point.

Relax, breathe out – not all are sharks

If they have failed us, the first reaction that comes after the acceptance process is one of self-defense. We close the story with that person and with them we put the padlock on any possible emotion that has the intention of stirring the soul: “you will not see any more broken because I will not give anyone the opportunity to cause them.”

Obviously, we believe that this defense system is perfect because nothing and no one will be able to assault it. And so we put on a hard armor, but we don’t realize that we are depriving our skin of contact with the air. We are not aware that what we can actually achieve is that our wounds become infected.

In other words, don’t be fooled: the damage is still one-way. Overprotection prevents us from enjoying ourselves and leads us to a constant state of alertness that denies us the possibility of letting ourselves go.

Building walls thus becomes an invisible cross that follows us and chases us, making us think that everything in the sea is sharks.

To the courage to ask for forgiveness, the virtue to forgive

As much as you try to believe that building an entire castle continually prepared for war is better for you, you are wrong: we would be nobody if we did not allow ourselves emotional contacts with others.

We would lose a lot if we were not able to build bridges or, what is the same, to accept forgiveness and have the virtue of forgiving. Not for anyone, but for someone special: for you. Think about it, what’s the use of not forgiving? , Does it benefit you?

You deserve to forgive the mistakes that others have made with you, because in this way you will be able to remove burdens that should no longer mean anything to you: you have new goals, new challenges, people who want to meet you, experiences that await you. Why don’t you let them happen?

To a certain extent, we could say that the heart has its own spaces and these must be managed well : the storage room, which prevents the light from staying in the main corridors. If you manage to do it, you will find the inner peace that you long for and, without knowing it, you will get the most out of time and squeeze out what comes, without ghosts of the past.

Pulling bridges is more difficult, but also more vital

Our title said that building bridges works better than building walls, but we have not yet stopped to explain what it means to build a bridge.

In case there are doubts, during the Middle Ages some fortresses used different “technological aids”, such as drawbridges, which supported defense elements as effective as moats: on the one hand, raising them allowed to protect the site from access by the enemies; on the other hand, they favored the entrance to the castle.

If we apply the metaphor to life, we understand that it is very difficult to launch that bridge to allow entry to the unknown when recently it has been so difficult for us to drive the enemy from our hearts. However, not doing so will isolate us from the outside, plunge us into insecurities and will gradually extinguish our vitality.

As with everything, what is more difficult to achieve seems to fill us more and generate enough adrenaline. So if you think that what you need is to turn the page, build other memories or really feel that what hurt has healed; Why don’t you stop building walls and dare to build bridges?