The 5 Forms Of Emotional Blackmail

Emotional blackmail. This term sounds familiar to all of us because, in some way, we have experienced it at certain times in our lives. For example, sometimes we live it with those relatives capable of victimizing themselves to extend their networks over us. Also in certain friends who manipulate us at will in order to achieve their goals …

We could clearly say that emotional blackmail is an art of toxicity and domination. A sibylline domain in which they use our affection and even our love to achieve a purpose and keep us strongly united to the person who exerts the blackmail.

Are you living it maybe right now? It’s possible. If so, you will have felt the slow and incisive pain of those behaviors before which, at first, we feel defenseless. How to refuse us? The biggest problem is that in most cases it is our own partners who skillfully display these behaviors.

We yield, obey and comply because we want the executor or executor of said art, allowing little by little, our self-esteem to erode like a rock in the face of the onslaught of the sea, like a small sailboat that is lost on the horizon. Not only is it an attack on our emotional integrity, our health also suffers in a very serious and dangerous way.

Emotional blackmail and health

The cost we pay for each transfer is enormous. Before each emotional blackmail, shame and guilt undoubtedly appear. We look at ourselves in the mirror and wonder why we have given in. We are aware that we must react, but nevertheless, once again we have been ambushed by being outwitted.

Without knowing it, we have perhaps offered that “pound of meat” so close to the heart that the character of Shylock demanded in the “Merchant of Venice”. And doubts appear. People have a system of values ​​that are our own, in addition to those internal promises that we make to ourselves daily: “I will not be fooled again”, “this will be the last time.”

And yet it happens again. Our self-esteem and integrity are becoming a shadow of tears and self-deception, we are losing our inner compass and almost without realizing it, the first symptoms arrive.

The headache continued. Musculoskeletal problems, those that strain our back, our neck, the same pain that barely allows us to sleep. Rashes or small skin problems appear in response to a high level of stress.

Sudden sweats, dry mouth, cold hands, digestive problems and, in essence, continued fatigue would be clear symptoms that something is wrong, that this mind-body connection has already resulted in those psychosomatic symptoms that we should not ignore .

Just one more piece of information to take into account. According to medical data, almost 25% of our physical complaints have a psychosomatic origin. Furthermore, studies such as the one carried out by Dr. 

In other words, there are areas in our life that we must act on and resolve to the extent that it is in our hands.

5 types of emotional blackmail

Here is a brief summary of the main types of emotional blackmail that we can experience. They are worth keeping in mind.

1. The seducers

It is possible that you have ever met a person with these characteristics. In principle, they are usually very caring men or women, very kind and detailed. They attend to every demand and know how to be extremely charming. They tend to entertain us and be the first to do anything for us .

But be careful because everything has a price : every favor and every detail must be rewarded and they will throw it in our face. “I paid you for that trip”, “You cannot deny yourself now knowing very well all that I have sacrificed for you.”

2. Victims of the relationship

Without a doubt, victimhood is one of the most common forms of emotional blackmail. They will use us as the target and cause of all their misfortunes, they manipulate negative emotions in the most damaging way possible.

“If I’m bad now it’s because of everything you do to me, because of your behavior, because of your desire to always leave me alone”, “You have a special ability to humiliate me, I don’t know how you do it . ” They are small examples of this manipulation that in reality is a clear psychological abuse.

3. Silent punishers

Very subtle, silent punishers exert an art of emotional blackmail in a highly destructive way. In this case, we are dragged into a very harmful instability where it is difficult to react, since there will be times when we are exalted and times when we are humiliated.

We will not know what to expect. Days in which you are his whole life and moments in which you can suffer phrases such as the following:  “ You think you are the most perfect person in the world and in reality, you are nothing. You are the weakest and most ridiculous person I have ever met. You only bring me misfortunes ”. Be careful about these behaviors and react as soon as possible.

4. Self-punishers

Classic profile of the manipulator or emotional manipulator. We are sure they sound familiar to you. People who often leave us with expressions such as the following: “It is clear that you no longer love me, that’s why you go past me and go with your friends.” “I see how much you care about me, you haven’t even called me. You clearly want to end me and this relationship. That is why you went to that dinner with your colleagues ”.

It is very possible that after hearing these words we will try to convince them that this is not the case. And if you do, if you give up, for example, that work dinner, the other person will have won once more.  If you give up your self-esteem, you will be losing it. It is worth keeping in mind. For your sake, for your health.

5. Those of “just a little more”

They use the social psychology effect known as “foot in the door” to their advantage. They are people to whom we do a favor and who to thank us do not ask for the next one. They take refuge is that it is only a little more or that it is something that we have already done other times.

They accompany their requests with gestures of sorrow, trying to appear weaker than they are or that the favor they demand seems more necessary than it is “You know that if it weren’t necessary I wouldn’t ask you for it.”