The Blame For Your Obesity

“Tomorrow I start”, “it’s over”, “today I say goodbye to all this shitty food”, “never again”, “I can’t go on like this”, “I’m getting fatter and fatter”, “I have to change”, “I’ve gone up in size”, “I keep getting fat” … Do they sound familiar? These are phrases that you may repeat to yourself on a daily basis because they have made you believe that you and only you are to blame for your obesity.

You think you are the only one responsible for your body. You value yourself exclusively for your body image. You feel frustrated because your thousands of attributes are not sufficiently recognized by the environment.

You may feel that you are worse for having a body that society does not accept. You know that you have to change because new health problems do not stop appearing or some health professional is alerting you to their imminent appearance. There are many reasons that can pressure you to change your body.

From pressure to despair

One day, as a result of the desperation to change, all those reasons appear in your head quickly and disorderly and, at that precise moment, you feel bad, you wonder why you have not done anything before, you point an accusing finger at yourself.

Deep down, you think  you are to blame because they have made you believe that change is easy and that you just have to have ‘will power’.

Restrictive methods are to blame for your obesity

That desperation makes you no longer support your body and, from the enormous responsibility that you feel, you decide that you need an immediate change. There, the need for a method that meets two conditions appears: that of punishing yourself for not having used means before, that of achieving spectacular results in the short term. The worst thing is that these methods exist, especially those that do the first.

There are people who create these types of weight loss programs and promote them as a necessary and healthy option. They tell you (and you tell yourself) that you have to be strong to be able to support a method based on excessive sacrifice : low-calorie diets, intense physical exercise, absolute self-control and a long etc. that you surely know.

The discomfort of restriction

The discomfort that the body you inhabit produces becomes very great. You are desperate and have immersed yourself in a process whose harshness makes you feel unbearable dissatisfaction. It is unsustainable. You can’t take it anymore. It is impossible. Desperation to break the pressure makes you stiffen the process of change. The process is so harsh that the discomfort spreads beyond the physical sensations.

In addition to the above, your self-esteem has been eroding, little by little, without realizing it. You look at yourself and you despise yourself, you no longer feel bad about your body, but also with your mind. You know why?

• Every day you value yourself only for the shape of your body. As if he were all you.
• Every day you tell yourself that you have a shitty body.
• Every day you try to change it to be how you want it to be, how you want it to be.
• Every time you try to change it, you do it in an unbearable and unsustainable way. It is self-destructive.
• Obviously, you are incapable of submitting to that discipline. But you don’t see it. You believe that you cannot carry it out because you are not strong enough, because you are not enough.
• Every day you feel guilty for not being able to change, as if what you think about it is possible. You follow those misleading “anything is possible if you put your mind to it” messages.
• Every day you learn that food, the one you try to reject, wins the battle. You need it to ease your dissatisfaction, to calm your anxiety. The need is not satisfied because the relief is brief.

• Thus, every day you send yourself the message that you lose. And you think you lose because of you, because you are not capable, because you are not enough.
• And among all that a permanent message: “you can’t”, “you are shit”, “you are not capable”, “you will never be able to”, “you are a failure” …

A binge to relieve you

You need to feel good; the discomfort becomes difficult to bear so, right now, you just lowered your arms. You just ate everything you haven’t eaten in the last few days. With anxiety, with discomfort, without joy. It is called binge eating and, although physically it is not healthy, it seeks to relieve you, mentally it calms you down for a few moments.

The blame for your obesity

Unfortunately, the relief has been brief and now you feel guilty. Guilty for not being able to ‘do what needs to be done’ to get a good body and eliminate all the pressure and dissatisfaction that it carries. As if I was to blame for everything.

The circle will start again. You will feel pressured, highly motivated for change. You will go back to adopting an unsustainable method. You will not bear it. You will binge to alleviate that state of brutal dissatisfaction. And again, guilt. And you will start over and over again, only in your sinking you will reach deeper and deeper heights.

They have made you believe that you are to blame for your overweight or obesity. You feel so responsible that the pressure you feel is brutal. This has led to completely unsustainable methods that have only exacerbated the situation. Thus, the solution begins by breaking the circle. For putting aside the impulse and making a thoughtful, adjusted, realistic approach; in which going back does not mean going back to the beginning, in which one can lose, but not everything gained.

What to do to break the guilty circle?

Breaking the circle necessarily means eliminating the pressure. For this, it will be essential to create a realistic message about yourself, your responsibility for your body, its shape and its relevance in the rest of the areas of your life. At the same time, it will be essential to generate a critical spirit with society that discards certain poisoned temptations for your inner dialogue.

In addition, it will be necessary to get you to value yourself beyond your body or what you do not like in your body. You need to understand that this way, just as you are, you are enough. In this way, your plan will not turn against your self-esteem if it is not fulfilled.

From calm, you will be able to enter a process of friendly, healthy, progressive and sustainable change. A comprehensive model that, in addition to teaching you how to eat, should work on other areas that help you feel better.

You will have eliminated pressure, despair and dissatisfaction. You will not need to turn to food as the only source of well-being and, if you need it, you can do it without guilt because you will know that “eating for eating” sometimes exerts a protective effect that makes sense. Binge eating has no place anymore. The guilt will be gone. The vicious circle will have disappeared.