8 Keys To Identify Envious People

They say of envious people that they keep a secret. That under their attentive and suspicious glances hides frustration, an unsatisfied need and in turn, a psychological exhaustion that they do not know how to solve. Because envy, believe it or not, involves great efforts: observe, compare, monitor and above all, suffer in silence the weight of unhappiness.

We all know well how an envious man acts. Furthermore, if we identify this dimension in other worlds, it is because we have also experienced it on occasion. This emotion also defines the human being. However, there is no shortage of who asks the following question. If all emotions serve a purpose , what purpose would this psychological reality have for our survival?

What anthropologists and psychologists tell us is this. Envy is related to competition and social comparison. It is part of our self-assessment. In this way, envious people present this type of drive to a greater degree because they see themselves limited or lacking in a series of characteristics. They crave what others see because they think that with that quality that they lack, they would have a greater  social advantage.

How do envious people act?

Envy has a relief and a significance that make it unique from other emotions. Most of us find it easy to say that we are sad, angry, disappointed, or even jealous. However, hardly anyone would dare to say out loud that they are envious. This dimension is perceived as something childish, as something petty and also, it is shameful. Thus, what envious people do is limit themselves to hiding that emotion.

That camouflage is clothed with a strong character, with a very marked personality type where in appearance everything is uprightness and apparent perfection. It is an impeccable shell that is very useful to hide that essence where low self-esteem lives and the longing for what others have or do. Let’s see some of its main characteristics.

1, turn off illusions

A wonderful event has just happened to you, and as soon as you transmit it to the person in question, they dedicate themselves to belittling it, or even belittling it. The act of detracting from your triumphs is a necessity, a strategy with which to turn off your shine and be able to place yourself at their height. Envious people do not want competitors, they cannot bear to be outdone or outdone.

2. Will criticize you in public

One of the most significant traits of a person who is envious of you is putting you down or making negative comments about you in front of other people. Often times, those poisoned spears come before you without expecting it, and when it happens you don’t know how to act. That is its advantage, that of catching us off guard, that of making itself serve as an audience so that the humiliation is fulminating and thus, assuming power over you.

3. Forced celebrations

If you want to identify envious people, listen to their non-verbal language. Let’s take an example. You have passed some competitive examinations, you cannot be happier and more radiant. You tell the “big news” to your friend and he becomes extremely cheerful. Now, if you look at their expressions you will see that they are forced, that their smile is unnatural, false. You can tell right away that he is pretending. Why? so that their envy goes unnoticed.

4. The Phantom Help

If there is something that abounds in excess, it is the so-called friends of the soul. Of those who promise us unconditional support, of those who say they will give everything for us. However, when we need him most, they are not there. The friend of the soul in this case is a shadow friend, a fugitive who, in reality, never experienced affection, affection or complicity. The only thing I felt in silence was envy.

5. Envious people steal your credit.

A common project, teamwork, a shared goal … There are situations where sooner or later envious people end up emerging, those who take the least credit, those who do not hesitate to say that  “without me I won’t do it. you would have gotten ” .

We cannot forget that envy is above all the need to have advantages over others. Getting on top of you is his main objective and therefore he will use any means.

6. Interferes in any area

If there are envious people in our environment, its impact reaches any area. Your arts, your words, actions and presence will affect our job performance. He will not hesitate to boycott friendships, to extinguish illusions, to criticize you behind your back, to slowly close your entire circle to turn off your brightness. To erase what makes you unique and that envies you.

7. Suddenly disappears from your life

Everything is going great for you, you are happy, everything is going well and suddenly that friend of yours disappears from the face of the earth without warning. You start to see him much less, making excuses to avoid seeing you. It turns out that your current happiness is a reminder that your life is immersed in many frustrations, those that you prefer not to dare to work and move forward.

8. They eat the feeling of frustration

As striking as it may seem, envy is not caused only by the desire to have an advantage over others. Envious people suffer. And they do it because of their feeling of inferiority and frustration, because of that low self-esteem that forces them to yearn for what others have and to detest those close to them for having what they want.

What do we do if we have envious people in our circle?

The first tip is to use empathy. It is very positive in these cases to be able to reflect on a very basic fact: what has led that person to live subjected to such negative emotion? What generates this behavior? It is not, therefore, a question of objectifying the envious, of establishing walls and limiting ourselves to placing that label. Let’s be able to go deeper.

Likewise, another recommended exercise in this circumstance is to talk with that person about what their behavior is causing us.  Reaching an understanding is always the best thing in a relationship of any kind. In fact, anything is more advisable before we limit ourselves to sentencing, cutting ties, putting distance.

Let’s give the opportunity for the envy to come to her senses, for that person to heal wounds, rebuild their self-esteem and repair that I so battered that only lives on frustrations.