3 Keys To Avoid Lies

“Cheating is very easy. I have been doing it for more than 50 years and it is extremely simple if you know how to do it ” . James Randi, one of the best magicians in history, quoted these words in one of his interviews. However, knowing how to tell a lie, so that it passes as the truth, is not an easy task. Especially since our mind is often uncomfortable with betraying one of the characteristics that most of us would like to treasure: sincerity.

On the other hand, when someone tells us a lie and we catch them, it is easy for us to feel small and vulnerable. They make us distrust the world and create a protective shell that breaks us inside. Due to this, we can lose the opportunity to enjoy good times with great people, by questioning everything they transmit to us.

We learn early on that lying is too easy a path to profit with little effort and avoid retaliation. When he has turned against us time and time again, we ask ourselves, why now is he going to tell the truth?

At the University of Los Angeles in 2004 an investigation was carried out where it was concluded that even the most sincere people lie several times a day when carrying out daily habits. The result of this study determined that almost all of us lied, not counting data concealment. A much more subtle and accepted way of lying.

Setting firm consequences prevents lying

Within personal relationships and the claim to build a congruent environment where lies are not the protagonist, experts agree that prevention is one of the keys. But what happens when we’ve already become professional liars? The only way to prevent a person from continuing to lie is to establish firm consequences that will make the subject in question desist from continuing to cheat.

To do this, prior to the establishment of said consequences, the essential requirement is to find out who is lying. Today many social studies allow us tools and signals to carry it out. Knowing the characteristics that reveal a liar is the key to preventing these.

To begin, we will highlight one of the main traits of those people who hide information or alter the truth and that is to be constantly on the defensive. Because of this, they are reluctant to collaborate and give explanations, thus avoiding being transparent and sincere. Next, if you join us, we will delve a little deeper into this topic.

Eye contact

It is common that, when hiding certain information, we block ourselves both internally and externally and our gestures begin to seem unnatural. Thus, people who know us, even if they cannot say why, usually have the feeling that something strange is happening. It is the fact that they suspect our words or attribute it to another cause to depend on many factors, from our “fame” to the fact that what we say is more or less credible.

In this way, good and expert liars have learned to control their non-verbal language in a certain way or, if they feel that they are not capable of doing it, they use other means (a call, an email, a note …) to prevent them from starting. the suspicions.

However, those with lesser ability tend to use a forced and unnatural expression, avoiding sitting in front of those who ask them and adopting a defensive position in any case. In their mind they imagine many ways to be caught and therefore they feel obliged to be prepared to try to prevent this from happening.

Dodging explanations and answers

When we lie, using imprecise words causes us to distance ourselves from the facts. In addition, this lack of detail is intended to make it difficult for someone to thoroughly investigate what we have lied about. On the other hand, it avoids that in the face of a fortuitous chance any contradiction that arouses suspicion appears. Finally, the fact of not giving details means that we have to store less information in our memory.

It is true that all of us, even the most sincere, make mistakes and inaccuracies. But it is clear that if they ask us for explanations, we will not mind doing them again if necessary. On the contrary, when we meet a person who lies, he will do everything possible not to give second explanations. It is common for them to crash, even if you miss data that you try to correct quickly.